CPTSD Medicine Blog

Sometimes you just need to receive a truth directly so you can discern what is TRUTH for you.

With so many internal and external distortions swirling around us, arriving at truth amid emotional triggers can feel elusive.

For those healing from childhood trauma, relational dynamics often activate emotional triggers, leaving us questioning: “Am I off?” or “Am I a bad person?”

Triggers often hold seeds of truth that require discernment to uncover. Understanding these seeds can lead to emotional resilience and a deeper connection with our truth. But how do we remain true to ourselves without censoring our vulnerability? How can we balance honesty with compassion in our relationships? And how do we even know we can trust ourselves after years of being gaslit and suffering through projections? 

Understanding Emotional Triggers and the Seeds of Truth

Emotional triggers are often activated by something familiar in the external world—a script we’ve internalized, perhaps from childhood trauma or past experiences. These triggers can make us feel vulnerable or even defensive. But within that vulnerability lies an opportunity: the chance to discern the truth within the triggered trauma energies.

When we take the time to lean into what is activated without pushing it away or making it bad or wrong, we often find that the seed of truth is about our own healing. It’s a reflection of something within us that craves attention (witnessing in Internal Family Systems terms) and understanding (validation in Internal Family Systems terms).

The Role of Vulnerability in Touching Truth

Vulnerability is experienced as unsafe by our fiercest Protective Parts, and yet moments of tenderness are often potent data sources for touching truth. When we can amplify the Self Energy of courage to name our vulnerability upfront, we create a developmental context for our human interactions. For example, if we share a hard truth, acknowledging the emotional context—“This is something I’m still working through myself”—can transform how others receive it.

This act of “naming a vulnerability” is not about apologizing for our truth or the truth of the situation or experience. It’s about bridging our internal, emotional experience with the realities of our relational field in a way that fosters understanding, and can soften the defensiveness of Protective Parts.

When we are able to lead with vulnerability, we are learning to trust ourselves that it is safe to express our truths of the moment, and we are testing whether those around us are strong enough to process their own triggers. This does not mean we are given a greenlight to speak for all Parts of us in all situations, as we must balance transparency with relational attunement. 

The safest person in the room isn’t the one who avoids all triggers but the one who models self-awareness and emotional regulation.

Practical Steps for Navigating Triggers and Sharing Truth

A common question arises: “Do I have to live my life for those who are not in their power?” It’s tempting to shield others from discomfort by censoring ourselves, but this often leads to disconnection. Instead, we can hold space for both our truth and their reaction.

Your truth may not always land gently for others.

This is where discernment becomes essential. Ask yourself:

  • Is what I’m sharing originating from a Part of me? If so, can I include that information in what I share? 
  • Do I fully understand the emotional context of what is happening for me internally? And can I share this upfront?
  • Am I holding space for the complexity of the relational dynamic?

By reflecting on these questions, we can lead with both courage and compassion, creating a space where others feel safe to explore their own complicated, and evolving truths.

If you are looking for support to understand your emotional context more fully, you may benefit from the Spiral of Authority Ritual, which you can purchase here.

Empowerment, Relationships

December 5, 2024

How Do We Arrive At Truth Amid Emotional Triggers?

Have you ever felt like life was spinning out of control but did not know where to start to fix it, or maybe you didn’t even feel willing to try?

If so, you are not alone in feeling this way. Resistance to healing is normal, for us all.

I knew for seven years that my life had become unmanageable. The incident that made this clear still makes my stomach flip whenever I think about it. Yet, it took me seven more years to research and discover the root cause of my struggles.

As CPTSD becomes a more commonly known mental health challenge, many humans are seeking solutions.

In my opinion, there are few viable holistic solutions for CPTSD healing available today. This is why I founded CPTSD Medicine in 2022 and am passionate about developing it as the industry leader for alternative and holistic services for lasting CPTSD Resolution. 

One of my greatest challenges as the leader of CPTSD Medicine is to help humans navigate the bridge between their starting point of an internal system burdened with trauma energies to an end point of an unburdened internal system. 

The main obstacle to such work is overcoming the resistance that comes from making healing CPTSD a top-three priority in one’s life. Logically, it makes no sense to delay healing as nothing is ever peaceful, fulfilling, healthy or well when a human is running trauma energies. They can mask and perform, but eventually this always leads to either a collapse or lashing out.

Healing is like stopping to fix a broken leg before continuing the hike.

Delaying healing is like continuing to hike with a broken leg and saying you will fix it when you are done with the hike. While you are hiking it is just going to get worse and worse, slowing you down even more. Instead you could stop the hike, heal your leg, and then restart the hike from where you left off. 

Why is there so much overwhelm and resistance at the beginning of a healing journey? 

For the same reasons a healing journey is necessary. Parts of you may not trust your leadership. They might believe you are fundamentally flawed, don’t deserve healing, or that living in emotional pain is your only option. They may think other people’s needs are more important or that you will fail if you try.

All of these are the trauma energies running in a human that is a victim of childhood trauma. I have heard all of them as a CPTSD Resolution guide. 

Here is my guidance on how to overcome resistance to healing.

Acknowledge Your Resistance: Do not ignore this experience or make it wrong or bad. Instead, honor it as wisdom from your internal system about where there is fear. Take a moment to notice and name the fears or doubts that arise when you think about healing. Recognize that these thoughts are rooted in trauma energies, not in your True Self.

Start Small: Healing does not have to begin with a big leap. Choose one small action that feels manageable today—like turning inward to listen to the voices inside for five minutes or stretching gently for ten minutes

Focus on Self-Compassion: Amplifying the Self Energy of Compassion can remind you that nothing is perfect and setting rigid standards is harmful to wounded Parts of you. Invite in a perspective that is about progressively supporting yourself in the most loving way. Speak to yourself with kindness and remind your Parts that their fears are valid, but that you are here leading now so you can offer more support and guidance.

Find a Mentor: Experiencing resistance in isolation can be terrifying for Parts of you. If you can find a trusted mentor, they can walk you through what has worked for them and their clients. Sometimes you just need someone further along in their healing journey to reach a hand back to you and share what they have learned through their own lessons and celebrations. 

Your first step is to address this directly, rather than delaying your healing. Imagine how it would feel to live without the weight of trauma energies. This vision can help motivate you to take the next step, no matter how small.

If you continue to delay your healing, you will get out of the emotional flashback or toxic fight that led you here and you will feel better eventually, but guess what? In two weeks, two months, two days, two hours, you will be right back to that flashbacked state or right in the middle of yelling at your partner, because you have not addressed the problem. 

Address the problem now, or it will continue to show up again and again.

Feeling overwhelmed and resistant to healing is a natural part of a CPTSD journey. You are not alone. There is a path forward, and it starts with addressing the problem head-on.

Empowerment, Parts Work

November 30, 2024

Why Resistance to Healing Is Normal—and How to Overcome It

Partner reparenting often occurs when we unconsciously seek our partner to fill the emotional void left by an unattuned or absent caregiver, but this disrupts the balance of healthy relationships.

Your partner is not your parent. 

This is such a tough one, because when you have never experienced the love of an attuned, caring parent it can feel like there is a void inside of you that can never be filled.

Positioning our partner as a parent disrupts the most attractive frequency of a partnership: true sovereignty. This means, ‘You are free to go; only stay if you desire to stay.

There is a lot written about ‘reparenting’ in CPTSD recovery literature. In the process of Unburdening Parts and Entities you are stewarding, there are times when you will need to guide Parts and Entities into a more mature, grounded place, or to offer them an alternative perspective to what they sense and feel. In CPTSD Medicine, this kind of Parts Work mostly falls under the “Updating” phase of Unburdening. 

Often when we want our partner to emotionally validate us it means we are running disempowered energy that is not adequately accessing Self Energy or Divinely-Sourced Energy running through the all important Discernment Energy Center (name in Human Design G Center). This is especially true if you have Gate 13 active in the Discernment Energy Center or as one of your Gene Keys in the Activation Sequence. 

Or when we want them to take over or fix something for us, we have not supported ourselves practically to accomplish what we need to accomplish, or there is some fear that we are not being honest about, and we are looking for an excuse why something will not be successful. The energetic dynamics of the relationship will always feel misaligned. Recognizing and releasing partner reparenting patterns creates space for Self Energy and Universal Love to fuel your healing and partnership.

Truly, sovereignty—’You are free to go; only stay if you desire to stay’—is the only partnership frequency that will offer long-term attractiveness to both partners.

When there is external or internal pressure to stay instead of Desire-based, or Self-Energy fueled devotion to the relationship, the energetics of the relationship will always feel off. One, or both, partner will sense resentment. This is not a free will choice context for a relationship. 

If as you Resolve your CPTSD you can “pull all your energy back” from your partner, and learn to tend to your internal system independently, you will have dramatically improved the context of your relationship. 

By recognizing and releasing the patterns of partner reparenting, you create space for Self Energy and Universal Love to fuel both your healing and your partnership.

Relationships

November 24, 2024

Why Partner Reparenting Undermines True Connection

Do you make fear-based decisions on the daily?

When you are living with Unresolved CPTSD you are often also living in fear. Fear that your partner will leave you. Fear that you will become penniless without a job. Fear that you are a fool, an evil person, or worthless. Fear that you are fat and lazy.

When we are making life decisions out of fear, those decisions are likely something that is going to need to be unwound or undone in the future. 

It is a very exhausting way to live, because everything often needs a ‘redo’ or repair. We are constantly fixing or correcting our original decisions. 

Notice, I did not say “mistake.” Because I don’t believe these fear-based decisions are mistakes. They can be powerful data sources for identifying the nature of the fear that your internal system is running. If you have frameworks for analyzing your decision-making patterns, you can distill powerful lessons. These lessons fuel the Unburdening of trauma energies.

When trauma energies are released in your internal system you have more access to Self Energy. When we are making Self-Energy-fueled decisions, we are trusting more, embodying more patience, and often can see things more clearly. With this new evidence that we can make wise decisions, we are no longer beholden to fear, and it becomes easier to show up in love.

When we approach life with love, everything unfolds naturally with grace and mercy. This is where all the laws of attraction make sense. 

And yet, it takes a lot of courage to change. Many Parts of us are terrified to begin real-deal healing. At some deep level, your internal system and external ecosystem know that things cannot stay the same with your healing. Some tough conversations may be ahead. You will have to feel your feelings and that will be extremely uncomfortable at times. Your lifestyle might need to shift, and the bad habits you have justified will require examination. It can feel like a lot at first.

All that is required is that you take one small baby step a day to build enough trust in your internal system to begin a holistic, comprehensive healing sabbatical. During these two years, you will make your CPTSD Resolution a top three priority. On the Other Side, you can then make up for lost time.

Empowerment

November 19, 2024

Fear-Based Decisions and CPTSD

After guiding clients for four years, here are three must-have CPTSD Resolution Components that I include in the healing containers. 

  1. Unburdening. I learned about the trauma recovery modality of Internal Family Systems early in my own journey. I was fortunate enough to get into Level 1, Level 2, and Level 3 trainings all within a three year span before IFS Institute limited their enrollment to therapists, doctors, and social workers. The single most valuable thing I learned from IFS was how to perform an “Unburdening.” Now the way I have come to understand this work for CPTSD Resolution and how mainstream IFS talks about it are a bit different at this point, but essentially Unburdening is a process by which you alchemize and release Trauma Energies from Parts and Entities that you are “stewarding” in your Mind, Body, and Heart. Why Unburdening is so important, is that it is a “root cause” approach and offers a permanent resolution of the problem.
  1. Aligning with your Sacred Blueprint. At birth we were given gifts and capacities that are unique and magnificent and are our codebook to the contributions we are intended to make for the Collective good. Trauma and conditioning obscure our access to knowing these gifts and capacities. To support this, In CPTSD Medicine, we currently use Human Design, the Gene Keys, and Shamanic Astrology to reveal a Sacred Blueprint which can inform so many aspects of living as a human. Specifically, it reveals insights about how to make decisions, where to clean up your relational field, how to earn squeaky-clean money, and which leadership attributes to develop more fully.
  1. Amplifying Self Energy. In our Information Processing and Energy Centers we are able to generate energies that are associated with health and well-being. In IFS, these are called “Self Energy.” As a human raised in a trauma ecosystem with resulting CPTSD, we do not, at least at first, have good access to pure, potent Self Energy. Daily devotional practices to amplify Self Energy are required for Unburdening and Aligning with your Sacred Blueprint, but this practice also engenders a kind of positivity loop in the relational field. 

If you are structuring your own CPTSD Resolution journey, add these CPTSD Resolution Components into the mix or make these your primary focus. If you want support right this very moment, you can head over to The Medicine Shop for on-demand support for all of these right this very moment. 

Energy Work, Parts Work

November 17, 2024

Three Must-Have CPTSD Resolution Components

One of the most detrimental consequences of untreated or unresolved CPTSD is selfishness, and so addressing selfishness in CPTSD healing directly and often is important.

It is not that you are selfish, or a bad human, but when your internal system is dominated by trauma energies, you are naturally selfish.

Why? 

Because the presence of trauma energies indicates that there is a “burden” somewhere lodged in your internal system. 

A burden is the wounding from a “lean in to connect when in distress” attempt as a human that does not result in the experience of unconditional love, or fierce protection, or wise compassion. It instead results in humiliation, silencing, rejection, betrayal, mocking, or gaslighting. When you lean in and receive relational poison, you sustain a wound. The relational poison leaves a mark.

Now, a burden can heal rather quickly if immediately thereafter there is an effective treatment of that wounding. Two effective treatments when administered immediately include:

  1. Full-Presence Space Holding: Stop whatever you are doing and witness the hurt of the other human, I mean really witness, full-Body presence, no interrupting, listening until the other human says, “That’s it.” Holding silent space, opening up and letting everything be named.
  2. Loving Support of Goodness and Rightness Paired With Declarations of Loyalty and Commitment: Repeat, “You are not a bad person.” “What you are saying makes sense to me given everything that has happened.” “I am on your team.” “I will not leave you until this is better.” “Whatever it takes to right this wrong, I will help you.” 

Note, the older a human is and the less CPTSD treatment they have received the more susceptible they are to perceived woundings rather than actual woundings. This is due to the fact that they are running trauma energies looping back through old evidence and past timelines. Treat real and perceived woundings the same in terms of treatment. 

If a wounding is not addressed immediately, it solidifies energetically. It is either absorbed into an existing fragment or Part of you, or it engenders a new fragmentation to adapt to the presence of this new energy. The wounding now transitions into a burden generating trauma energies.  

When a human’s physical form can longer sustain itself and the internal system is running trauma energies, i.e., the human has untreated or unresolved CPTSD, in the break down of the physical form, Entities are formed. Entities are Parts + True Essence + Old Evidence Schemas that form more complete operating systems. Entities are not sustainable on their own energetically and must find a host. Without energetic protection, you absorb or inherit Entities. Entities have burdens, too. 

When a human has Parts or Entities within their internal system with burdens, we are always tending to ourselves in some way, consciously or unconsciously. It is like hiking with a broken leg—you must focus on minimizing pain and survival, leaving little energy for anything else. They cannot really take in the natural world around them easily or provide additional support to others on the hike. They are required, due to their injury, to be selfish.  

Hopefully now you are seeing the parallels. 

When I say, open your eyes, It is a gentle reminder for you to really take in other humans in your trauma ecosystem. What are they experiencing? What trauma energies are they running? What old evidence are they looping through? Treat real and perceived woundings the same way.

None of these are an excuse for bad behavior or thoughtless actions, but just a reminder that with our own injuries we can be too focused on ourselves. The Call of the CycleBreaker is to see beyond Self, even early in your CPTSD Resolution process. 

Honor your experience and the work you need to do for yourself, but also see how every human in trauma ecosystem is also suffering and in need of support and guidance. 

We all need bridges. Not just us. The more we can open our eyes to our surroundings and truly see what is happening, the more we establish ourselves as leaders. Addressing selfishness in CPTSD requires leadership that can understand and work with self-focused schemas productively.

CycleBreaking, Parts Work

November 15, 2024

Addressing Selfishness in CPTSD Healing

Consider this: ‘You are your greatest ally‘ as a childhood trauma survivor on a CPTSD Resolution quest. How is Self-allyship in CPTSD healing relevant to you?

Even if old evidence suggests “you don’t got you,” you can generate new evidence that you are your own most vital source of support, advocacy, and empowerment in your life. 

It is not you, but it is Parts of you or Entities that you have absorbed or inherited that may be working against your Personal Power and aligned Leadership. 

When you stop fighting against yourself and recognize that it is Parts and Entities running trauma energies that have generated the old evidence, you can begin to accept yourself as you are right now at this moment. 

While resistance and sabotage can reveal what needs to be completed during Unburdening, these internal experiences are not helpful in leading your CPTSD Resolution process.

Some places to practice Self-allyship:

  1. Amplifying compassion over criticism: Notice when critical energies have taken over, especially in times of struggle. See if you can soften the criticizing voices by acknowledging the courage it takes to begin a healing journey.
  2. Paying attention to what is happening internally.: For so long, Parts of you have overridden your natural cues to rest, take space, or seek support. Just simply observing “what would make me feel loved right now?” and then noticing what impulses are driving your decision-making can be a huge step forward in reinstating your natural Self-protective instincts. 
  3. Leaning into hope: Let’s face it. You probably don’t have a lot of good, recent evidence that you are a strong, wise leader of your internal system. At the same time, you have to start somewhere. See if you can cultivate gentle and patient energy within yourself.
  4. Cultivating your inner authority: Recognizing and honoring your unique strengths and abilities is key to Self-allyship. Celebrate when you have a breakthrough, and take time to reflect on how and why it happened. (See MasterClass on WisdomKeeping I hosted in 2024.)

When you stop fighting against yourself, and instead accept where you are right now in this moment, you can begin a more potent CPTSD Resolution process. 

While resistance and sabotage are instructive toward what needs completion during Unburdening they are not beneficial to your consistent progress. 

So don’t vilify anything or create a hierarchical tower of judgment about what is happening internally for you, but do recognize that you fighting your internal system and all the Parts and Entities that you are stewarding internally is counterproductive. 

Accept and devote yourself to daily CPTSD Resolution activities and remember that Self-allyship in CPTSD healing is an essential reclamation of Personal Power.

Parts Work

November 14, 2024

Self-Allyship in CPTSD Healing

Here’s what I know about overcoming the victim mentality in CPTSD Resolution. First and foremost, it is critical to stepping into and onto the path of an empowered CycleBreaking journey.

If you are reading this and you have the freedom of movement, earning and spending money, safety of your physical form, then this applies to you:

Parts of you or Entities within your internal system may have been the victim, but not you. Every time you drop into the victim role, you give away your power and you delay your Dream Result.

No one is likely to take accountability for how they harmed Parts of you. In all the clients I have seen over the years, none have had parents take responsibility for harm, a few have had siblings, and some have had partners. 

In a trauma ecosystem, everyone is swimming in trauma, running trauma energies, and playing the victim role. You can either stay right here in this frequency and be trapped for the rest of your life, or you can decide that there is something different for you. 

Once you entertain that concept of “different,” things begin to shift. This is your first transformative moment as a CycleBreaker. 

Here is the thing to beware of: just because you are considering something different than others in your trauma ecosystem, and may even do some things differently than those in your trauma ecosystem does not make you better. Maintaining humility is a massive mindset requirement for the CycleBreaker. 

The belief that there is no separation is a foundational creed for the CycleBreaker, but more on that in a future post. For now, I just want to help you avoid a known pitfall of choosing the CycleBreaking identity. 

Remember: different does not equal better when it comes to humans

What happens if you can put down the Victim Story and begin overcoming the mentality it generates within your in CPTSD Resolution journey? You become a leader. 

Leaders must locate Personal Power and limit their reliance on Circumstantial Power. If you are only willing to take productive, aligned actions, “as long as,” well, there is not much freedom in that. 

This is why I am so passionate about teaching humans with UnResolved CPTSD to learn how to Unburden Parts and Entities. Running Hurt Victim Energy is a perpetual trap of disempowerment. 

Empowerment

November 13, 2024

Overcoming Victim Mentality in CPTSD