CPTSD Medicine Blog

Sometimes you just need to receive a truth directly so you can discern what is TRUTH for you.

One of the most overlooked consequences of untreated or unresolved CPTSD is the emergence of behaviors that can feel, or be perceived as, selfish. Addressing this directly is not about shame or blame—it is about understanding the deeper layers beneath it.

You are not selfish. You are not a bad person. But when your internal system is dominated by trauma energies, it often feels like you are trapped in self-focus. Why? Because unresolved trauma leaves “burdens” lodged in your internal system—wounds from unmet needs, unprocessed pain, and experiences of relational harm.

The Invisible Labor of Carrying Trauma

A burden forms when you reached out in distress, seeking connection, only to be met with rejection, humiliation, betrayal, or gaslighting. That experience leaves a mark. If that wound is not immediately met with full presence, unconditional support, and emotional repair, it solidifies energetically. This becomes the invisible labor of trauma—constantly managing pain beneath the surface, often without even realizing it.

When unaddressed, these burdens create Parts of you—or even Entities—that absorb and carry these wounds. They drain your energy, narrow your focus to survival, and leave little space for anything beyond your own immediate needs. This is not selfishness. This is self-preservation.

Self-Love: The Antidote to Self-Focus

The paradox is this: the more you practice genuine self-love, the less self-focused you become. Self-love is not self-indulgence. It is the radical act of meeting your own needs so that you are not unconsciously demanding others meet them for you.

  • Amplify Compassion: Notice when you slip into harsh self-judgment. What if the “selfishness” you feel is just an unmet need asking for attention?
  • Recognize the Price of Invisible Labor: The exhaustion you feel is not from doing “nothing.” It is from carrying burdens no one else can see.
  • Shift from Survival to Leadership: Healing allows you to reclaim the energy spent on survival and redirect it toward connection, purpose, and contribution.

Seeing Beyond Yourself: The Call of the CycleBreaker

When you begin to heal, something remarkable happens: you can finally see beyond your own pain. You recognize that every human in your trauma ecosystem is also carrying burdens. This awareness does not excuse harmful behavior, but it fosters empathy without enabling.

  • Honor your journey, but do not let it isolate you.
  • Acknowledge your pain, but do not let it define you.
  • Claim your healing, not just for you, but as a bridge for others.

The Leadership of Healing

Addressing selfishness in CPTSD is not about becoming “less self-centered.” It is about becoming more self-aware. When you lead yourself with love, you create space to lead others with compassion.


Ready to Break the Cycle?

If you are tired of carrying invisible burdens and ready to reclaim your energy, your relationships, and your purpose—this is your moment.

Join me in the journey of CPTSD Resolution, where healing is not just personal. It is transformational. For you. For your family. For generations to come.

Start your healing sabbatical today. Learn more here.
Follow @cptsdmedicine for daily insights on breaking cycles and reclaiming your power.

CycleBreaking, Parts Work, Relationships

November 15, 2024

Addressing Selfishness in CPTSD Healing: The Hidden Cost of Invisible Labor

When it comes to CPTSD Resolution, there is a transformative truth that often gets overlooked: You are your greatest ally.

For many childhood trauma survivors, this can feel foreign—maybe even untrue. But here is the reality: even if your past holds “evidence” that suggests you could not rely on yourself, you have the power to generate new evidence. Evidence that you are your own most vital source of support, advocacy, and empowerment.

Survival Mode Is Not a Mindset—It Is a Protective System

You are not broken. You are not self-sabotaging. Parts of you are running protective strategies that once kept you safe.

True healing does not come from fighting these Parts of you. It comes from unburdening the trauma energies they carry, creating space where fear used to live. When your body feels safe enough to live beyond survival, you step into a different kind of existence—one rooted in clarity, not constant threat assessment.

What Is Self-Allyship in CPTSD Healing?

Self-allyship means becoming the leader your internal system has been waiting for. It is not about “fixing” yourself—it is about standing beside yourself, especially when Parts of you feel lost, afraid, or overwhelmed.

It is not “you” working against yourself. It is Parts of you—wounded, protective, or burdened—that have been running the show. When you stop fighting these Parts and instead approach them with compassion, everything changes.

Practices to Cultivate Self-Allyship

  1. Amplify Compassion Over Criticism
    Notice when critical voices take over, especially in moments of struggle. Instead of silencing them, soften them with curiosity: “What are you afraid will happen if you do not criticize me right now?” Acknowledge the courage it takes to be on this healing path.
  2. Tune Into Your Internal World
    For years, Parts of you may have overridden natural cues to rest, seek support, or slow down. Ask yourself: “What would make me feel loved right now?” Then pause. Notice what comes up. Even observing your impulses is an act of reinstating your natural protective instincts.
  3. Lean Into Hope (Even If It Feels Unfamiliar)
    You might not have a lot of evidence yet that you are a strong, wise leader of your internal system. That is okay. You do not need certainty to begin—you just need willingness. Hope is not about guarantees; it is about opening to the possibility of something different.
  4. Cultivate Inner Authority
    Your wisdom has always been there, buried beneath survival strategies. Celebrate your breakthroughs, no matter how small. Reflect on what shifted within you to create that change. Self-allyship means honoring your growth without dismissing it as “not enough.”

The Trap of Internal Resistance

When you fight against yourself—resisting your emotions, shaming your patterns, or judging your struggles—you reinforce the very systems that kept you stuck. Resistance and sabotage are not “bad”—they are data. They reveal where unburdening is needed.

But here is the key: while they are instructive, they are not the leaders of your healing journey.

Self-Allyship: A Radical Act of Cycle Breaking

When you stop fighting yourself and start leading with compassion, you break the deepest cycles—the ones that live inside you. You reclaim your personal power not by “winning” against your Parts but by creating a relationship with them rooted in respect, patience, and love.

This is the essence of generational healing.

When you practice self-allyship, you do not just heal for yourself. You become the CycleBreaker who shifts what love, leadership, and safety look like for the generations that follow.

So today, ask yourself: “How can I stand beside myself, even in the hard moments?” Because you deserve more than survival. You deserve to live fully, freely, and with love at the center of your being.

CycleBreaking, Parts Work

November 14, 2024

Self-Allyship in CPTSD Healing: The Key to Breaking Cycles and Reclaiming Personal Power