CPTSD Medicine Blog

Do you make fear-based decisions on the daily?

When you are living with Unresolved CPTSD you are often also living in fear. Fear that your partner will leave you. Fear that you will become penniless without a job. Fear that you are a fool or an evil person, or worthless, fat and lazy. 

When we are making life decisions full of fear and out of fear, those decisions are likely something that is going to need to be unwound or undone in the future. 

It is a very exhausting way to live, because everything needs a “Redo” or “Take Two” or repair. We are constantly fixing or correcting our original decisions. 

Notice I did not say “mistake.” Because I don’t believe these fear-based decisions are mistakes per se. They can be powerful data sources for identifying the nature of the fear that your internal system is running. If you have frameworks for analyzing your decision-making patterns you can distill powerful lessons that fuel Unburdening trauma energies. 

When trauma energies are released in your internal system you have more access to Self Energy. When we are making Self-Energy-fueled decisions, we are trusting more, embodying more patience, and often can see things more clearly. With this new evidence that we can make wise decisions, not only are we no longer beholden to fear, and more Self Energetic, but it is easier to show up in Love.

When we are showing up in Love everything just unfolds naturally with grace and mercy. This is where all the laws of attraction make sense. 

And yet, it takes a lot of courage to change. Many Parts of us are terrified to begin real-deal healing. At some deep level, your internal system and external ecosystem know that things cannot stay the same with your healing. Some tough conversations may be ahead. You will have to feel your feelings and that will be extremely uncomfortable at time. Your lifestyle might need to shift or evolve. The bad habits you have justified will need to be examined. It can feel like a lot at first.

All that is required is that you take one small baby step a day to build enough trust in your internal system to begin a holistic, comprehensive healing sabbatical. During these two years, you will make your CPTSD Resolution a top three priority. On the Other Side then you can make up for lost time.

After guiding clients for four years, here are three must-have CPTSD Resolution Components that I include in the healing containers that I offer. 

1. Unburdening. I learned about the trauma recovery modality of Internal Family Systems early in my own journey. I was fortunate enough to get into Level 1, Level 2, and Level 3 trainings all within a three year span before IFS Institute limited their enrollment to therapists, doctors, and social workers. The very, very best thing that I learned from IFS was how to perform an “Unburdening.” Now the way I have come to understand this work for CPTSD Resolution and how mainstream IFS talk about it are a bit different at this point, but essentially Unburdening is a process by which you alchemize and release Trauma Energies from Parts and Entities that you are “stewarding” in your Mind, Body, and Heart. Why Unburdening is so important is that it is a “root cause” approach and offers a permanent resolution of the problem.

2. Aligning with your Sacred Blueprint. At birth we were given gifts and capacities that are unique and magnificent and are our codebook to the contributions we are intended to make for the Collective good. Trauma and conditioning obscure our access to knowing these gifts and capacities. In CPTSD Medicine, we currently use Human Design, the Gene Keys, and Shamanic Astrology to reveal a Sacred Blueprint which can inform so many aspects of living as a human. Specifically, how to make decisions, where to clean up your relational field, how to earn squeaky-clean money, and which leadership attributes to develop more fully.

3. Amplifying Self Energy. In our Information Processing Centers and our Energy Centers we are able to generate energies that are associated with health and well-being. In IFS, these are called “Self Energy.” As a human raised in a trauma ecosystem with resulting CPTSD, we do not, at least at first, have good access to pure, potent Self Energy. Daily devotional practices to amplify Self Energy are required for Unburdening and Aligning with your Sacred Blueprint, but this practice also engenders a kind of positivity loop in the relational field. 

If you are structuring your own CPTSD Resolution journey, add these CPTSD Resolution Components into the mix or make these your primary focus. If you want support right this very moment, you can head over to The Medicine Shop for on-demand support for all of these right this very moment. 

One of the most detrimental consequences of Untreated or Unresolved CPTSD is selfishness, and so addressing selfishness in CPTSD Healing directly and often is important.

It is not that you are selfish, or a bad human, but when you are running majority trauma energies in your internal system, you are naturally selfish.

Why? 

Because the presence of trauma energies indicates that there is a “burden” somewhere lodged in your internal system. 

A burden is the wounding from a “lean in to connect when in distress” attempt as a human that does not result in the experience of unconditional love, or fierce protection, or wise compassion. It instead results in humiliation, silencing, rejection, betrayal, mocking, or gaslighting. When you lean in and receive relational poison, you get a wounding. The relational poison leaves a mark.

Now, a burden can heal rather quickly if immediately thereafter there is an effective treatment of that wounding. Two effective treatments when administered immediately include:

1. Full-Presence Space Holding: Stop whatever you are doing and witness the hurt of the other human, I mean really witness, full-Body presence, no interrupting, listening until the other human says “That’s it.” Holding silent space, opening up and letting everything be named.
2. Loving Support of Goodness and Rightness Paired With Declarations of Loyalty and Commitment: Repeat, “You are not a bad person.” “What you are saying makes sense to me given everything that has happened.” “I am on your team.” “I will not leave you until this is better.” “Whatever it takes to right this wrong, I will help you.” 

Note, the older a human is and the less CPTSD treatment they have received the more susceptible they are to perceived woundings rather than actual woundings. This is due to the fact that they are running trauma energies looping back through old evidence and past timelines. Treat real and perceived woundings the same in terms of treatment. 

If a wounding is not addressed immediately, it solidifies energetically and either is absorbed into an existing fragment, or Part of you, a previously created infrastructure adaptation to the presence of this new energy, or engenders a new fragmentation, or Part of you to form. The wounding now transitions into a burden generating trauma energies.  

When a human’s physical form can longer sustain itself and the internal system is running trauma energies, i.e., the human has untreated or unresolved CPTSD, in the break down of the physical form, Entities are formed. Entities are Parts + True Essence + Old Evidence Schemas that form more complete operating systems. Entities are not sustainable on their own energetically and must find a host. Without energetic protection, you absorb or inherit Entities. Entities have burdens, too. 

When a human has Parts or Entities within their internal system with burdens, we are always tending to ourselves in some way, consciously or unconsciously. It is like a human with a broken leg trying to hike, they will have to spend a lot of their attention on their own needs to minimize the pain and survive the hike. They cannot really take in the natural world around them easily or provide additional support to others on the hike. They are required, due to their injury, to be selfish.  

Hopefully now you are seeing the parallels. 

When I say, OPEN YOUR EYES. It is a gentle reminder for you to really take in other humans in your trauma ecosystem. What are they experiencing? What trauma energies are they running? What old evidence are they looping through? 

None of these are an excuse for bad behavior or thoughtless actions, but just a reminder that with our own injuries we can be too focused on ourselves. The Call of the CycleBreaker is to see beyond Self, even early in your CPTSD Resolution process. 

Honor your experience and what you are contending with and all the work that you need to do for yourself, but also see how every human in trauma ecosystem is also suffering and in need of support and guidance. 

We all need bridges. Not just us. The more we can open our eyes to our surroundings and truly see what is happening, the more we establish ourselves as leaders. Addressing selfishness in CPTSD healing requires a leadership that can relate and understand the presence of self-focused schemas productively during CPTSD healing.

Consider this: “You are your greatest ally” as a childhood trauma survivor on a CPTSD Resolution quest, and now consider this: How is Self-allyship in CPTSD healing relevant to you?  

Even if old evidence suggests “you don’t got you” you can generate new evidence that you are your own most vital source of support, advocacy, and empowerment in your life. 

It is not YOU, but it is Parts of you or Entities that you have absorbed or inherited that may be working against your Personal Power and aligned Leadership. 

When you stop fighting against yourself and recognize that it is Parts and Entities running Trauma Energies that have generated the old evidence, you can begin to accept yourself as you are right now at this moment. 

So while resistance and sabotage are instructive toward what needs Completion during Unburdening, these internal experiences are not beneficial to leading your CPTSD Resolution process. 

Some places to practice Self-allyship:

1. Amplifying compassion over criticism: Notice when critical energies have taken over, especially in times of struggle. See if you can soften the criticizing voices by acknowledging the courage it takes to begin a healing journey.
2. Observing what is actually happening internally: For so long, Parts of you have overridden your natural cues to rest, take space, or seek support. Just simply observing “what would make me feel loved right now?” and then noticing what action urges are driving your decision-making can be a huge step forward in reinstating your natural Self-protective instincts. 
3. Leaning into hope: Let’s face it. You probably don’t have a lot of good, recent evidence that you are a strong, wise leader of your internal system. At the same time, you have to start somewhere. See if you can radiate gentle and patient energy internally. 
4. Cultivating your inner authority: Recognizing and honoring your unique strengths and abilities are key to Self-allyship. Celebrate when you have a breakthrough and Wisdom Keep around how and why it happened.

When you stop fighting against yourself, and instead accept where you are right now in this moment, you can begin a more potent CPTSD Resolution process. 

While resistance and sabotage are instructive toward what needs Completion during Unburdening they are not beneficial to your consistent progress. 

So don’t vilify anything or create a hierarchical tower of judgment about what is happening internally for you, but do recognize that you fighting your internal system and all the Parts and Entities that you are stewarding internally is counterproductive. 

Accept and devote yourself to daily CPTSD Resolution activities and remember that Self-allyship in CPTSD healing is an essential reclamation of Personal Power.

Here’s what I know about overcoming the victim mentality in CPTSD Resolution. First and foremost, it is critical to stepping into and onto the path of an empowered CycleBreaking journey.

If you are reading this and you have the freedom of movement, earning and spending money, safety of your physical form then this applies to you:

You were the victim, or more accurately Parts of you or Entities within your internal system were, but not you. Every time you want to drop into the Victim role, you give away your power and you delay your Dream Result.

No one is likely to take accountability for how they harmed Parts of you. In all the clients I have seen over the years, none have had parents take responsibility for harm, a few have had siblings, and some have had partners. 

In a trauma ecosystem everyone is swimming in trauma, running trauma energies, and playing the victim role. You can either stay right here in this frequency and be trapped for the rest of your life, or you can decide that there is something different for you. 

Once you entertain that concept of “different,” things begin to shift. This is your first transformative moment as a CycleBreaker. 

Here is the thing to beware of: just because you are considering something different than others in your trauma ecosystem, and may even do somethings differently than those in your trauma ecosystem does not make you better. This is a massive mindset requirement for the CycleBreaker. 

There is no separation is a foundational creed for the Cyclebreaker, but more on that in a future post. For now, I just want to help you avoid a known pitfall of choosing the CycleBreaking identity. 

Remember: different does not equal better when it comes to humans. 

What happens if you can put down the Victim Story and begin overcoming the victim mentality in CPTSD? You become a leader. 

Leaders must locate Personal Power and limit their reliance on Circumstantial Power. If you are only willing to take productive, aligned actions, “as long as,” well, there is not much freedom in that. 

This is why I am so passionate about teaching humans with UnResolved CPTSD to learn how to Unburden Parts and Entities. Running Hurt Victim Energy is a perpetual trap into disempowerment.