CPTSD Medicine Blog

With so many internal and external distortions swirling around us, arriving at truth amid emotional triggers can feel elusive.

For those healing from childhood trauma, relational dynamics often activate emotional triggers, leaving us questioning: “Am I off?” or “Am I a bad person?”

Triggers often hold seeds of truth that require discernment to uncover. Understanding these seeds can lead to emotional resilience and a deeper connection with our truth. But how do we remain true to ourselves without censoring our vulnerability? How can we balance honesty with compassion in our relationships? And how do we even know we can trust ourselves after years of being gaslit and suffering through projections? 

Understanding Emotional Triggers and the Seeds of Truth

Emotional triggers are often activated by something familiar in the external world—a script we’ve internalized, perhaps from childhood trauma or past experiences. These triggers can make us feel vulnerable or even defensive. But within that vulnerability lies an opportunity: the chance to discern the truth within the triggered trauma energies.

When we take the time to lean into what is activated without pushing it away or making it bad or wrong, we often find that the seed of truth is about our own healing. It’s a reflection of something within us that craves attention (witnessing in Internal Family Systems terms) and understanding (validation in Internal Family Systems terms).

The Role of Vulnerability in Touching Truth

Vulnerability is experienced as unsafe by our fiercest Protective Parts, and yet moments of tenderness are often potent data sources for touching truth. When we can amplify the Self Energy of courage to name our vulnerability upfront, we create a developmental context for our human interactions. For example, if we share a hard truth, acknowledging the emotional context—“This is something I’m still working through myself”—can transform how others receive it.

This act of “naming a vulnerability” is not about apologizing for our truth or the truth of the situation or experience. It’s about bridging our internal, emotional experience with the realities of our relational field in a way that fosters understanding, and can soften the defensiveness of Protective Parts.

When we are able to lead with vulnerability, we are learning to trust ourselves that it is safe to express our truths of the moment, and we are testing whether those around us are strong enough to process their own triggers. This does not mean we are given a greenlight to speak for all Parts of us in all situations, as we must balance transparency with relational attunement. 

The safest person in the room isn’t the one who avoids all triggers but the one who models self-awareness and emotional regulation.

Practical Steps for Navigating Triggers and Sharing Truth

A common question arises: “Do I have to live my life for those who are not in their power?” It’s tempting to shield others from discomfort by censoring ourselves, but this often leads to disconnection. Instead, we can hold space for both our truth and their reaction.

Your truth may not always land gently for others.

This is where discernment becomes essential. Ask yourself:

• Is what I’m sharing originating from a Part of me? If so, can I include that information in what I share? 
• Do I fully understand the emotional context of what is happening for me internally? And can I share this upfront?
• Am I holding space for the complexity of the relational dynamic?

By reflecting on these questions, we can lead with both courage and compassion, creating a space where others feel safe to explore their own complicated, and evolving truths.

If you are looking for support to understand your emotional context more fully, you may benefit from the Spiral of Authority Ritual, which you can purchase here.

Have you ever felt like life was spinning out of control but did not know where to start to fix it, or maybe you didn’t even feel willing to try?

If so, you are not alone in feeling this way. Resistance to healing is normal, for us all.

I knew for seven years that my life had become unmanageable. The incident that made this clear still makes my stomach flip whenever I think about it. Yet, it took me seven more years to research and discover the root cause of my struggles.

As CPTSD becomes a more commonly known mental health challenge, many humans are seeking solutions.

In my opinion, there are few viable holistic solutions for CPTSD healing available today. This is why I founded CPTSD Medicine in 2022 and am passionate about developing it as the industry leader for alternative and holistic services for lasting CPTSD Resolution. 

One of my greatest challenges as the leader of CPTSD Medicine is to help humans navigate the bridge between their starting point of an internal system burdened with trauma energies to an end point of an unburdened internal system. 

The main obstacle to such work is overcoming the resistance that comes from making healing CPTSD a top-three priority in one’s life. Logically, it makes no sense to delay healing as nothing is ever peaceful, fulfilling, healthy or well when a human is running trauma energies. They can mask and perform, but eventually this always leads to either a collapse or lashing out.

Healing is like stopping to fix a broken leg before continuing the hike.

Delaying healing is like continuing to hike with a broken leg and saying you will fix it when you are done with the hike. While you are hiking it is just going to get worse and worse, slowing you down even more. Instead you could stop the hike, heal your leg, and then restart the hike from where you left off. 

Why is there so much overwhelm and resistance at the beginning of a healing journey? 

For the same reasons a healing journey is necessary. Parts of you may not trust your leadership. They might believe you are fundamentally flawed, don’t deserve healing, or that living in emotional pain is your only option. They may think other people’s needs are more important or that you will fail if you try.

All of these are the trauma energies running in a human that is a victim of childhood trauma. I have heard all of them as a CPTSD Resolution guide. 

Here is my guidance on how to overcome resistance to healing.

Acknowledge Your Resistance: Do not ignore this experience or make it wrong or bad. Instead, honor it as wisdom from your internal system about where there is fear. Take a moment to notice and name the fears or doubts that arise when you think about healing. Recognize that these thoughts are rooted in trauma energies, not in your True Self.

Start Small: Healing does not have to begin with a big leap. Choose one small action that feels manageable today—like turning inward to listen to the voices inside for five minutes or stretching gently for ten minutes. 

Focus on Self-Compassion: Amplifying the Self Energy of Compassion can remind you that nothing is perfect and setting rigid standards is harmful to wounded Parts of you. Invite in a perspective that is about progressively supporting yourself in the most loving way. Speak to yourself with kindness and remind your Parts that their fears are valid, but that you are here leading now so you can offer more support and guidance.

Find a Mentor: Experiencing resistance in isolation can be terrifying for Parts of you. If you can find a trusted mentor, they can walk you through what has worked for them and their clients. Sometimes you just need someone further along in their healing journey to reach a hand back to you and share what they have learned through their own lessons and celebrations. 

Your first step is to address this directly, rather than delaying your healing. Imagine how it would feel to live without the weight of trauma energies. This vision can help motivate you to take the next step, no matter how small.

If you continue to delay your healing, you will get out of the emotional flashback or toxic fight that led you here and you will feel better eventually, but guess what? In two weeks, two months, two days, two hours, you will be right back to that flashbacked state or right in the middle of yelling at your partner, because you have not addressed the problem. 

Address the problem now, or it will continue to show up again and again.

Feeling overwhelmed and resistant to healing is a natural part of a CPTSD journey. You are not alone. There is a path forward, and it starts with addressing the problem head-on.

Partner reparenting often occurs when we unconsciously seek our partner to fill the emotional void left by an unattuned or absent caregiver, but this disrupts the balance of healthy relationships.

Your partner is not your parent. 

This is such a tough one, because when you have never experienced the love of an attuned, caring parent it can feel like there is a void inside of you that can never be filled.

Positioning our partner as a parent disrupts the most attractive frequency of a partnership: true sovereignty. This means, ‘You are free to go; only stay if you desire to stay.

There is a lot written about ‘reparenting’ in CPTSD recovery literature. In the process of Unburdening Parts and Entities you are stewarding, there are times when you will need to guide Parts and Entities into a more mature, grounded place, or to offer them an alternative perspective to what they sense and feel. In CPTSD Medicine, this kind of Parts Work mostly falls under the “Updating” phase of Unburdening. 

Often when we want our partner to emotionally validate us it means we are running disempowered energy that is not adequately accessing Self Energy or Divinely-Sourced Energy running through the all important Discernment Energy Center (name in Human Design G Center). This is especially true if you have Gate 13 active in the Discernment Energy Center or as one of your Gene Keys in the Activation Sequence. 

Or when we want them to take over or fix something for us, we have not supported ourselves practically to accomplish what we need to accomplish, or there is some fear that we are not being honest about, and we are looking for an excuse why something will not be successful. The energetic dynamics of the relationship will always feel misaligned. Recognizing and releasing partner reparenting patterns creates space for Self Energy and Universal Love to fuel your healing and partnership.

Truly, sovereignty—’You are free to go; only stay if you desire to stay’—is the only partnership frequency that will offer long-term attractiveness to both partners.

When there is external or internal pressure to stay instead of Desire-based, or Self-Energy fueled devotion to the relationship, the energetics of the relationship will always feel off. One, or both, partner will sense resentment. This is not a free will choice context for a relationship. 

If as you Resolve your CPTSD you can “pull all your energy back” from your partner, and learn to tend to your internal system independently, you will have dramatically improved the context of your relationship. 

By recognizing and releasing the patterns of partner reparenting, you create space for Self Energy and Universal Love to fuel both your healing and your partnership.

Do you make fear-based decisions on the daily?

When you are living with Unresolved CPTSD you are often also living in fear. Fear that your partner will leave you. Fear that you will become penniless without a job. Fear that you are a fool, an evil person, or worthless. Fear that you are fat and lazy.

When we are making life decisions out of fear, those decisions are likely something that is going to need to be unwound or undone in the future. 

It is a very exhausting way to live, because everything often needs a ‘redo’ or repair. We are constantly fixing or correcting our original decisions. 

Notice, I did not say “mistake.” Because I don’t believe these fear-based decisions are mistakes. They can be powerful data sources for identifying the nature of the fear that your internal system is running. If you have frameworks for analyzing your decision-making patterns, you can distill powerful lessons. These lessons fuel the Unburdening of trauma energies.

When trauma energies are released in your internal system you have more access to Self Energy. When we are making Self-Energy-fueled decisions, we are trusting more, embodying more patience, and often can see things more clearly. With this new evidence that we can make wise decisions, we are no longer beholden to fear, and it becomes easier to show up in love.

When we approach life with love, everything unfolds naturally with grace and mercy. This is where all the laws of attraction make sense. 

And yet, it takes a lot of courage to change. Many Parts of us are terrified to begin real-deal healing. At some deep level, your internal system and external ecosystem know that things cannot stay the same with your healing. Some tough conversations may be ahead. You will have to feel your feelings and that will be extremely uncomfortable at times. Your lifestyle might need to shift, and the bad habits you have justified will require examination. It can feel like a lot at first.

All that is required is that you take one small baby step a day to build enough trust in your internal system to begin a holistic, comprehensive healing sabbatical. During these two years, you will make your CPTSD Resolution a top three priority. On the Other Side, you can then make up for lost time.

After guiding clients for four years, here are three must-have CPTSD Resolution Components that I include in the healing containers. 

1. Unburdening. I learned about the trauma recovery modality of Internal Family Systems early in my own journey. I was fortunate enough to get into Level 1, Level 2, and Level 3 trainings all within a three year span before IFS Institute limited their enrollment to therapists, doctors, and social workers. The single most valuable thing I learned from IFS was how to perform an “Unburdening.” Now the way I have come to understand this work for CPTSD Resolution and how mainstream IFS talks about it are a bit different at this point, but essentially Unburdening is a process by which you alchemize and release Trauma Energies from Parts and Entities that you are “stewarding” in your Mind, Body, and Heart. Why Unburdening is so important, is that it is a “root cause” approach and offers a permanent resolution of the problem.

2. Aligning with your Sacred Blueprint. At birth we were given gifts and capacities that are unique and magnificent and are our codebook to the contributions we are intended to make for the Collective good. Trauma and conditioning obscure our access to knowing these gifts and capacities. To support this, In CPTSD Medicine, we currently use Human Design, the Gene Keys, and Shamanic Astrology to reveal a Sacred Blueprint which can inform so many aspects of living as a human. Specifically, it reveals insights about how to make decisions, where to clean up your relational field, how to earn squeaky-clean money, and which leadership attributes to develop more fully.

3. Amplifying Self Energy. In our Information Processing and Energy Centers we are able to generate energies that are associated with health and well-being. In IFS, these are called “Self Energy.” As a human raised in a trauma ecosystem with resulting CPTSD, we do not, at least at first, have good access to pure, potent Self Energy. Daily devotional practices to amplify Self Energy are required for Unburdening and Aligning with your Sacred Blueprint, but this practice also engenders a kind of positivity loop in the relational field. 

If you are structuring your own CPTSD Resolution journey, add these CPTSD Resolution Components into the mix or make these your primary focus. If you want support right this very moment, you can head over to The Medicine Shop for on-demand support for all of these right this very moment. 

One of the most overlooked consequences of untreated or unresolved CPTSD is the emergence of behaviors that can feel, or be perceived as, selfish. Addressing this directly is not about shame or blame—it is about understanding the deeper layers beneath it.

You are not selfish. You are not a bad person. But when your internal system is dominated by trauma energies, it often feels like you are trapped in self-focus. Why? Because unresolved trauma leaves “burdens” lodged in your internal system—wounds from unmet needs, unprocessed pain, and experiences of relational harm.

The Invisible Labor of Carrying Trauma

A burden forms when you reached out in distress, seeking connection, only to be met with rejection, humiliation, betrayal, or gaslighting. That experience leaves a mark. If that wound is not immediately met with full presence, unconditional support, and emotional repair, it solidifies energetically. This becomes the invisible labor of trauma—constantly managing pain beneath the surface, often without even realizing it.

When unaddressed, these burdens create Parts of you—or even Entities—that absorb and carry these wounds. They drain your energy, narrow your focus to survival, and leave little space for anything beyond your own immediate needs. This is not selfishness. This is self-preservation.

Self-Love: The Antidote to Self-Focus

The paradox is this: the more you practice genuine self-love, the less self-focused you become. Self-love is not self-indulgence. It is the radical act of meeting your own needs so that you are not unconsciously demanding others meet them for you.

• Amplify Compassion: Notice when you slip into harsh self-judgment. What if the “selfishness” you feel is just an unmet need asking for attention?
• Recognize the Price of Invisible Labor: The exhaustion you feel is not from doing “nothing.” It is from carrying burdens no one else can see.
• Shift from Survival to Leadership: Healing allows you to reclaim the energy spent on survival and redirect it toward connection, purpose, and contribution.

Seeing Beyond Yourself: The Call of the CycleBreaker

When you begin to heal, something remarkable happens: you can finally see beyond your own pain. You recognize that every human in your trauma ecosystem is also carrying burdens. This awareness does not excuse harmful behavior, but it fosters empathy without enabling.

• Honor your journey, but do not let it isolate you.
• Acknowledge your pain, but do not let it define you.
• Claim your healing, not just for you, but as a bridge for others.

The Leadership of Healing

Addressing selfishness in CPTSD is not about becoming “less self-centered.” It is about becoming more self-aware. When you lead yourself with love, you create space to lead others with compassion.

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Ready to Break the Cycle?

If you are tired of carrying invisible burdens and ready to reclaim your energy, your relationships, and your purpose—this is your moment.

Join me in the journey of CPTSD Resolution, where healing is not just personal. It is transformational. For you. For your family. For generations to come.

Start your healing sabbatical today. Learn more here.
Follow @cptsdmedicine for daily insights on breaking cycles and reclaiming your power.

When it comes to CPTSD Resolution, there is a transformative truth that often gets overlooked: You are your greatest ally.

For many childhood trauma survivors, this can feel foreign—maybe even untrue. But here is the reality: even if your past holds “evidence” that suggests you could not rely on yourself, you have the power to generate new evidence. Evidence that you are your own most vital source of support, advocacy, and empowerment.

Survival Mode Is Not a Mindset—It Is a Protective System

You are not broken. You are not self-sabotaging. Parts of you are running protective strategies that once kept you safe.

True healing does not come from fighting these Parts of you. It comes from unburdening the trauma energies they carry, creating space where fear used to live. When your body feels safe enough to live beyond survival, you step into a different kind of existence—one rooted in clarity, not constant threat assessment.

What Is Self-Allyship in CPTSD Healing?

Self-allyship means becoming the leader your internal system has been waiting for. It is not about “fixing” yourself—it is about standing beside yourself, especially when Parts of you feel lost, afraid, or overwhelmed.

It is not “you” working against yourself. It is Parts of you—wounded, protective, or burdened—that have been running the show. When you stop fighting these Parts and instead approach them with compassion, everything changes.

Practices to Cultivate Self-Allyship

1. Amplify Compassion Over Criticism
   Notice when critical voices take over, especially in moments of struggle. Instead of silencing them, soften them with curiosity: “What are you afraid will happen if you do not criticize me right now?” Acknowledge the courage it takes to be on this healing path.
2. Tune Into Your Internal World
   For years, Parts of you may have overridden natural cues to rest, seek support, or slow down. Ask yourself: “What would make me feel loved right now?” Then pause. Notice what comes up. Even observing your impulses is an act of reinstating your natural protective instincts.
3. Lean Into Hope (Even If It Feels Unfamiliar)
   You might not have a lot of evidence yet that you are a strong, wise leader of your internal system. That is okay. You do not need certainty to begin—you just need willingness. Hope is not about guarantees; it is about opening to the possibility of something different.
4. Cultivate Inner Authority
   Your wisdom has always been there, buried beneath survival strategies. Celebrate your breakthroughs, no matter how small. Reflect on what shifted within you to create that change. Self-allyship means honoring your growth without dismissing it as “not enough.”

The Trap of Internal Resistance

When you fight against yourself—resisting your emotions, shaming your patterns, or judging your struggles—you reinforce the very systems that kept you stuck. Resistance and sabotage are not “bad”—they are data. They reveal where unburdening is needed.

But here is the key: while they are instructive, they are not the leaders of your healing journey.

Self-Allyship: A Radical Act of Cycle Breaking

When you stop fighting yourself and start leading with compassion, you break the deepest cycles—the ones that live inside you. You reclaim your personal power not by “winning” against your Parts but by creating a relationship with them rooted in respect, patience, and love.

This is the essence of generational healing.

When you practice self-allyship, you do not just heal for yourself. You become the CycleBreaker who shifts what love, leadership, and safety look like for the generations that follow.

So today, ask yourself: “How can I stand beside myself, even in the hard moments?” Because you deserve more than survival. You deserve to live fully, freely, and with love at the center of your being.

When it comes to CPTSD Resolution, overcoming the victim mentality is not just a mindset shift—it is the gateway to aligned love, relationship clarity, and the foundation for becoming an Empowered HouseHolder. It is the first step in reclaiming your life, your relationships, and your legacy as a CycleBreaker.

If you are reading this and you have access to freedom of movement, the ability to earn and spend money, and physical safety, this applies to you:

Your Parts May Have Been Victimized, But You Are Not the Victim

Parts of you—those younger, wounded aspects—may have experienced harm. They carry the pain, the fear, the memories. But you, as the Self, are not defined by those experiences.
Every time you drop into the victim role, you unconsciously hand over your power. You delay the very thing you desire most: emotional healing, authentic connection, and a sense of inner peace that no one can take from you.

In all the clients I have supported through their self-love journeys, very few have had the closure of an apology from the people who caused them harm. Parents rarely take full accountability. Some siblings do. Occasionally, a partner does. But most often, that healing does not come from the outside.

The Trauma Ecosystem: Where Victim Energy Thrives

In a trauma ecosystem—families, workplaces, even relationships—everyone is swimming in unprocessed pain. People are running on trauma energies, cycling through roles like victim, rescuer, or persecutor without even realizing it.
You can stay in that loop, trapped in the same frequency of disempowerment.
Or you can choose differently.

The moment you entertain the idea that there is another way, even if you do not know what it looks like yet—that is your first transformative moment as a CycleBreaker.

Choosing Different Does Not Mean Choosing “Better”

Here’s a common pitfall: once you start breaking cycles, healing your trauma, and experiencing clarity, it is easy to slip into the belief that you are “better” than those who are still stuck.

But healing is not about superiority. It is about freedom.
Freedom from the need to compare. Freedom from the idea that worthiness is a ladder to climb.

Humility is the anchor that keeps you grounded as you rise.
Different does not equal better when it comes to human value. It simply means you have chosen to walk a path that others may not be ready to explore yet.

What Happens When You Let Go of the Victim Story?

You become a leader—not the loud, controlling kind, but the kind of leader who quietly influences by embodying their truth.

Leaders locate personal power.
They do not rely on circumstances to feel safe, loved, or worthy.
If your actions are only aligned “as long as” things go your way, that is circumstantial power. And that is fragile.

True power comes from within. It is unshakeable because it does not depend on anyone else’s behavior.

Unburdening Trauma Energies: The Key to Lasting Change

This is why I am so passionate about guiding people with unresolved CPTSD. Unburdening trauma energies is not just about healing old wounds—it is about reclaiming the energy those wounds have been draining from you.

When you stop running on hurt victim energy, you stop seeking external validation.

You stop chasing relationships to fill a void.

You start attracting aligned love, building emotionally safe homes, and becoming the person your younger self needed.

This Is the Work of Generational Healing

When you shift out of victim mentality, you do not just change your life.
You change your family’s future.
Your children, if you have them, will experience love that is not entangled with fear.
Your relationships will feel more authentic because they are rooted in clarity, not survival mode.

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Are You Ready to Break the Cycle?

You do not have to do it alone.
This is the year you finally step out of the patterns that have held you back.
This is the year you become the CycleBreaker your family never saw coming.

Explore how you can start your healing sabbatical with me here.
Or follow along on IG @cptsdmedicine for more insights on reclaiming your power, unburdening trauma, and creating a life rooted in aligned love.