Addressing Selfishness in CPTSD Healing

One of the most detrimental consequences of untreated or unresolved CPTSD is selfishness, and so addressing selfishness in CPTSD healing directly and often is important.

It is not that you are selfish, or a bad human, but when your internal system is dominated by trauma energies, you are naturally selfish.

Why? 

Because the presence of trauma energies indicates that there is a “burden” somewhere lodged in your internal system. 

A burden is the wounding from a “lean in to connect when in distress” attempt as a human that does not result in the experience of unconditional love, or fierce protection, or wise compassion. It instead results in humiliation, silencing, rejection, betrayal, mocking, or gaslighting. When you lean in and receive relational poison, you sustain a wound. The relational poison leaves a mark.

Now, a burden can heal rather quickly if immediately thereafter there is an effective treatment of that wounding. Two effective treatments when administered immediately include:

1. Full-Presence Space Holding: Stop whatever you are doing and witness the hurt of the other human, I mean really witness, full-Body presence, no interrupting, listening until the other human says, “That’s it.” Holding silent space, opening up and letting everything be named.
2. Loving Support of Goodness and Rightness Paired With Declarations of Loyalty and Commitment: Repeat, “You are not a bad person.” “What you are saying makes sense to me given everything that has happened.” “I am on your team.” “I will not leave you until this is better.” “Whatever it takes to right this wrong, I will help you.” 

Note, the older a human is and the less CPTSD treatment they have received the more susceptible they are to perceived woundings rather than actual woundings. This is due to the fact that they are running trauma energies looping back through old evidence and past timelines. Treat real and perceived woundings the same in terms of treatment. 

If a wounding is not addressed immediately, it solidifies energetically. It is either absorbed into an existing fragment or Part of you, or it engenders a new fragmentation to adapt to the presence of this new energy. The wounding now transitions into a burden generating trauma energies.  

When a human’s physical form can longer sustain itself and the internal system is running trauma energies, i.e., the human has untreated or unresolved CPTSD, in the break down of the physical form, Entities are formed. Entities are Parts + True Essence + Old Evidence Schemas that form more complete operating systems. Entities are not sustainable on their own energetically and must find a host. Without energetic protection, you absorb or inherit Entities. Entities have burdens, too. 

When a human has Parts or Entities within their internal system with burdens, we are always tending to ourselves in some way, consciously or unconsciously. It is like hiking with a broken leg—you must focus on minimizing pain and survival, leaving little energy for anything else. They cannot really take in the natural world around them easily or provide additional support to others on the hike. They are required, due to their injury, to be selfish.  

Hopefully now you are seeing the parallels. 

When I say, open your eyes, It is a gentle reminder for you to really take in other humans in your trauma ecosystem. What are they experiencing? What trauma energies are they running? What old evidence are they looping through? Treat real and perceived woundings the same way.

None of these are an excuse for bad behavior or thoughtless actions, but just a reminder that with our own injuries we can be too focused on ourselves. The Call of the CycleBreaker is to see beyond Self, even early in your CPTSD Resolution process. 

Honor your experience and the work you need to do for yourself, but also see how every human in trauma ecosystem is also suffering and in need of support and guidance. 

We all need bridges. Not just us. The more we can open our eyes to our surroundings and truly see what is happening, the more we establish ourselves as leaders. Addressing selfishness in CPTSD requires leadership that can understand and work with self-focused schemas productively.