CPTSD Medicine Blog

One of the most detrimental consequences of untreated or unresolved CPTSD is selfishness, and so addressing selfishness in CPTSD healing directly and often is important.

It is not that you are selfish, or a bad human, but when your internal system is dominated by trauma energies, you are naturally selfish.

Why? 

Because the presence of trauma energies indicates that there is a “burden” somewhere lodged in your internal system. 

A burden is the wounding from a “lean in to connect when in distress” attempt as a human that does not result in the experience of unconditional love, or fierce protection, or wise compassion. It instead results in humiliation, silencing, rejection, betrayal, mocking, or gaslighting. When you lean in and receive relational poison, you sustain a wound. The relational poison leaves a mark.

Now, a burden can heal rather quickly if immediately thereafter there is an effective treatment of that wounding. Two effective treatments when administered immediately include:

1. Full-Presence Space Holding: Stop whatever you are doing and witness the hurt of the other human, I mean really witness, full-Body presence, no interrupting, listening until the other human says, “That’s it.” Holding silent space, opening up and letting everything be named.
2. Loving Support of Goodness and Rightness Paired With Declarations of Loyalty and Commitment: Repeat, “You are not a bad person.” “What you are saying makes sense to me given everything that has happened.” “I am on your team.” “I will not leave you until this is better.” “Whatever it takes to right this wrong, I will help you.” 

Note, the older a human is and the less CPTSD treatment they have received the more susceptible they are to perceived woundings rather than actual woundings. This is due to the fact that they are running trauma energies looping back through old evidence and past timelines. Treat real and perceived woundings the same in terms of treatment. 

If a wounding is not addressed immediately, it solidifies energetically. It is either absorbed into an existing fragment or Part of you, or it engenders a new fragmentation to adapt to the presence of this new energy. The wounding now transitions into a burden generating trauma energies.  

When a human’s physical form can longer sustain itself and the internal system is running trauma energies, i.e., the human has untreated or unresolved CPTSD, in the break down of the physical form, Entities are formed. Entities are Parts + True Essence + Old Evidence Schemas that form more complete operating systems. Entities are not sustainable on their own energetically and must find a host. Without energetic protection, you absorb or inherit Entities. Entities have burdens, too. 

When a human has Parts or Entities within their internal system with burdens, we are always tending to ourselves in some way, consciously or unconsciously. It is like hiking with a broken leg—you must focus on minimizing pain and survival, leaving little energy for anything else. They cannot really take in the natural world around them easily or provide additional support to others on the hike. They are required, due to their injury, to be selfish.  

Hopefully now you are seeing the parallels. 

When I say, open your eyes, It is a gentle reminder for you to really take in other humans in your trauma ecosystem. What are they experiencing? What trauma energies are they running? What old evidence are they looping through? Treat real and perceived woundings the same way.

None of these are an excuse for bad behavior or thoughtless actions, but just a reminder that with our own injuries we can be too focused on ourselves. The Call of the CycleBreaker is to see beyond Self, even early in your CPTSD Resolution process. 

Honor your experience and the work you need to do for yourself, but also see how every human in trauma ecosystem is also suffering and in need of support and guidance. 

We all need bridges. Not just us. The more we can open our eyes to our surroundings and truly see what is happening, the more we establish ourselves as leaders. Addressing selfishness in CPTSD requires leadership that can understand and work with self-focused schemas productively.

Consider this: ‘You are your greatest ally‘ as a childhood trauma survivor on a CPTSD Resolution quest. How is Self-allyship in CPTSD healing relevant to you?

Even if old evidence suggests “you don’t got you,” you can generate new evidence that you are your own most vital source of support, advocacy, and empowerment in your life. 

It is not you, but it is Parts of you or Entities that you have absorbed or inherited that may be working against your Personal Power and aligned Leadership. 

When you stop fighting against yourself and recognize that it is Parts and Entities running trauma energies that have generated the old evidence, you can begin to accept yourself as you are right now at this moment. 

While resistance and sabotage can reveal what needs to be completed during Unburdening, these internal experiences are not helpful in leading your CPTSD Resolution process.

Some places to practice Self-allyship:

1. Amplifying compassion over criticism: Notice when critical energies have taken over, especially in times of struggle. See if you can soften the criticizing voices by acknowledging the courage it takes to begin a healing journey.
2. Paying attention to what is happening internally.: For so long, Parts of you have overridden your natural cues to rest, take space, or seek support. Just simply observing “what would make me feel loved right now?” and then noticing what impulses are driving your decision-making can be a huge step forward in reinstating your natural Self-protective instincts. 
3. Leaning into hope: Let’s face it. You probably don’t have a lot of good, recent evidence that you are a strong, wise leader of your internal system. At the same time, you have to start somewhere. See if you can cultivate gentle and patient energy within yourself.
4. Cultivating your inner authority: Recognizing and honoring your unique strengths and abilities is key to Self-allyship. Celebrate when you have a breakthrough, and take time to reflect on how and why it happened. (See MasterClass on WisdomKeeping I hosted in 2024.)

When you stop fighting against yourself, and instead accept where you are right now in this moment, you can begin a more potent CPTSD Resolution process. 

While resistance and sabotage are instructive toward what needs completion during Unburdening they are not beneficial to your consistent progress. 

So don’t vilify anything or create a hierarchical tower of judgment about what is happening internally for you, but do recognize that you fighting your internal system and all the Parts and Entities that you are stewarding internally is counterproductive. 

Accept and devote yourself to daily CPTSD Resolution activities and remember that Self-allyship in CPTSD healing is an essential reclamation of Personal Power.